Conversations with Kiernen

Observing for learning:

K: Is there a bad side to you, Mama? 

M: What? 

K: Do you...does everyone have a bad side? 

M: Well...

K: Is there good and bad in everyone?

M: I suppose so. In a way, yes. Sort of. 

I forget this part, but I know at some point around here I was talking about not hurting anyone and doing things with love is the best we can do. 

K: I don’t have very much bad in me. 

M: No, I don’t think you do. 

K: There really aren’t a lot of robbers in Portland. 

M: Well, there are some. Some people do steal, like they might break into someone’s house or a business or someone’s car and steal stuff. 

K: No one can break into our house, because we have a gate. 

(we have a wrought iron gate that is electronically controlled, that closes off our entire property pretty much)

M: We do. It would be pretty difficult to break into our house. 

K said something here I am not remembering. Something about people being bad or maybe he asked something...

M: No one is born bad. People do bad things, I think, because they are hurting, and sometimes they don’t know how to handle that hurt, and they have learned to make bad choices. But they weren’t born that way. Babies are born pure - 

K: What’s ‘pure’ mean? 

M: Well, it means like clean. New. fresh. With no bad thoughts. But sometimes things to happen to people to hurt them. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. Sometimes when people are hurt, they can make bad choices and do things to hurt other people. 

K: I didn’t get hurt very much when I was little. Inside, I mean. I’m not hurting inside. 

M: Yeah, me neither. I did have some stuff happen when I was little that I felt hurt about inside, but - 

K: What happened? 

M: Well, when I was 6 and we moved to St. Louis from New Hampshire. It wasn’t St. Louis - I mean, it wasn’t leaving New Hampshire that hurt me. My Mom had always stayed home with me before that - she was home with me all the time. She was able to do that because she received what’s called welfare - it’s a little bit of money, just enough to pay the bills and buy food. We were poor, but we had enough to eat. And she was home with me. 

Then when we moved, she wanted to work instead, so she left me with babysitters all the time. They were strangers. I didn’t know them. It felt really scary for me. I was afraid. I don’t remember much about any of them - 

K: That’s good. 

M: Yeah, I guess it is. 

K: It’s good that you don’t remember them because then you won’t have any bad thoughts. 

M: Yeah, I guess not, Good point. 

So I felt sad at that time in my life because I felt like my Mom abandoned me, by leaving me with all of these strangers all the time. I never really understood why or what was happening. It felt really scary to me. 

****** we were entering the house at this point, so the conversation tapered off, but it was pretty insightful, I thought. Kiernen is so into the world of superheroes lately, he is immersed....and here he is really thinking about things like what causes someone to be bad or good, or is it inherent in the person...wow. 

Oh, he also busted out the same day with, “Mom, what do you think the meaning of life is?”

I asked him what he thought it was. He answered, “Happiness. “